I Will Not Do That Thing With My Tongue

Using Bart Simpson's chalkboard gags as writing prompts

Photo by Stefan Grage on Unsplash

I will not do that thing with my tongue. Unless you ask nicely.

Non-flammable is not a challenge. When I was ten — precisely Bart’s perpetual age — my mom had a metal ruler with the word unbreakable stamped on it. I took that as a challenge. I couldn’t break it, but I did bend it. With apologies to Pink, “not broken, just…