Pineapple and Mayonnaise

100-word story

Bill sat at the table wearing track pants and a tuxedo jacket—and sporting a large bump on his head.

I fixed myself a coffee. “How are you, Bill?”

“Got a bit of a headache. Otherwise great.” He took a large bite of what appeared to be a pineapple and mayonnaise sandwich. 

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. Want some cottage cheese for that coffee?”

“Bill, I think you should go to the doctor.”

“Wes, I’m fine.”

“What if I drive you in?”

"I see no reason to go.”

“And if I insist?

“Guess we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”

I wrote this story for a contest with the prompt “odd pairings.” It didn’t win, place or show.

As for sandwiches, peanut butter and pickle is my favorite. For me, it has to be crunchy peanut butter (preferably the natural kind you have to stir so it doesn’t separate), Klausen dill pickles, and a not-too-fancy bread. Nothing with seeds and twigs in it.

If you haven’t tried PB&P, I don’t want to hear about how you think it sounds gross. If you try it and don’t like it, we can talk.

As for pineapple and mayo, such sandwiches are apparently a thing in the southern US. I tried pineapple and mayo on the recommendation of a friend who lives in Georgia and didn’t love it.

It was best when the pineapple was warm and heavily salted. But I think salt makes everything taste better.

Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash